Contempt is powered by prolonged negative thinking about one’s marriage partner. Women can pleasure themselves and never feel ashamed about it. Look at your fear of what people think. References: Farris, M. (2017). Sometimes the best way to survive a sexless marriage without cheating is to walk away. Whether to leave or stay in a sexless marriage depends on what else is happening in the relationship, says Tracey Cox Christmas marks the end of another year, New Year the … She got busy with the child and he got busy with his job and they would discuss over coffee “we should do it sometime. Although men and women both have physical and emotional needs, men are more likely to connect on a physical level while women generally connect more readily on an emotional level. Sometimes not because lack of intimacy could be compensated by love, respect and care. Talk to your partner about the issue. In the same way, you have to decide what is your priority. After a long day if you sit together on the couch and exchange the day’s happenings or discuss future plans or even holiday plans this leads to an intimacy that could be stronger than a sexual bond. Marital partners rarely fall out of love overnight. Can we please discuss something that happened to me today?”. (For the record, we are not sexless since we average 13-18 times a year for the last 5 years). Why people in a bad marriage stay married. Required fields are marked *. Loving marriages that last for a long time generally have marital partners who are committed to working diligently on their relationship. Maybe that’s when you should see a therapist and try to straighten the deeper issues in the marriage that has led to the sexlessness. On the face, you will not suspect a thing. Lack of intimacy could actually be grounds for a divorce. If left unchecked, negative patterns of criticism may lead to the development of contempt. A third path is to do little to nothing about your situation and remain in a pointless and loveless marriage, marking the days as they go by. If you are living in a loveless marriage, it is important to remember that help is available. In your case, you can do the things you had always wanted to be done. In a society where women are raised to be caregivers, wives may require affection and intimacy to feel appreciated and valued by their husbands. The first solution to solving a problem in marriage is having a meaningful discussion. A lot of factors lead to people pushing away sex that could be stress, need to give attention to children, household chores, work pressure or even health issues. Sadly, that assumption is not true. But in reality, their husband-wife-relationship has been long over. Contempt is used to make the attacker feel morally superior and the accused feel worthless. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fighting-fear/201407/why-people-in-bad-marriage-stay-married, Pease Gadoua, S. (2014, November 22). Hence if a spouse is not happy in the marriage, communicate,discuss with ur partner but if not able to resolve part ways than resorting to cheating. Although it is possible for husbands and wives to experience a sudden life change that adversely affects their relationship, many people who report being in a loveless marriage admit they simply forgot to focus on their relationship. Although religious leaders, family members, or friends may offer advice, none of these individuals really knows your circumstances or what is best for you in the long run. Fundamentally, it comes down to 3 choices: leave, cheat, or suffer. Although it is often easier to see your partner’s shortcomings, you may also be at fault for your relationship issues. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Join a cooking class or a sewing class or learn a musical instrument. However, the type of conversation you have may determine whether or not your relationship remains intact.